9 Feb 2018
'I'm sorry to tell you this, but you are decidedly average,' said the angel, peering at me over the spectacles dangling precariously on the end of his long nose.
He was a short, potbellied man with a balding head. Like the other angels, he wore a flowing white toga. Large wings attached to his shoulder blades, and they fanned out behind him, draping over the back of his chair like a coat. The white feathers were distinctly ruffled, like hair that had been slept on. We were in what looked like a standard government office, with some very jarring differences. Behind me, the waiting area stretched on for what seemed like an eternity, with row upon row of mismatched chairs. The service area was relatively normal, with each angel occupying a desk. They even had desktop computers, and a plaque that showed each worker's name in bold capital letters. Apparently, my angel's name was Dave.
'What does that mean?' I asked.
'Well... I'm afraid that you can't get into heaven.' Dave the angel replied sympathetically.
'You're kidding me! I'm going to hell because I'm average!'
'No not at all.'
'So what then?'
Dave squirmed uncomfortably, and I could almost hear his seat squeal in protest.
'It means you're sentenced to a one year trial. You'll be assigned a duty, possibly helping out here in Judgment. Then after the year, you'll have a retrial.'
'But it took me almost one whole week of waiting to get to this point! You're telling me that after that I have to work for a whole year, and then I only maybe get to go to heaven?' I retorted angrily.
'Well, you have to understand, we're terribly understaffed.'
I drummed my fingers on my thighs, thinking.
'Can't I prove to you how good I've been? Who even decides that? Where is God? Or Jesus? Isn't one of them meant to decide this kind of thing?'
'Oh, we don't bother them for this kind of thing anymore! We have a special computer algorithm that decides all of that.' Dave laughed.
'A computer thinks I'm not good enough to go to heaven? What about that time I helped May at school with her maths homework?'
'Let's see... hmmm...' Dave's fingers clicked over the keyboard for a moment. 'That good deed was canceled by a bad one just two days later.'
'What bad deed?'
'Two days after helping May with her homework your friend Thomas asked if you two were going out. You said, and I quote "No way man! Her face looks like she ran into a wall.",'
'Right...' I rubbed my forehead. 'I know, what about when I helped my brother pick up all of his Lego?'
Again, the keyboard clicked as Dave went to work.
'No, sorry that won't help either. The Lego was only there because you had thrown it there as a prank.'
'The time I let Marco use my computer to watch movies?'
'Those, unfortunately, were pirated.'
My shoulders slumped, defeated. 'I guess I'll take the trial.'
'Excellent! Give me a moment and I'll process that request....'
I stood there, trying not to be too disappointed. Now that I thought about it, I realised Dave was right. I wasn't good or bad. I was just average. I resolved to do better. In one year, I could move on. For one year, I just had to focus on doing good. How hard could it be?
'You're in for a real treat.' Dave said, breaking through my train of thought. 'You're on Guide duty.'
25 Nov 2017
I jiggled my legs nervously, then straightened my bowtie. I knew I shouldn’t have worn it, but it was too late to do anything about it. I’d look stupid if she arrived now, and I was fiddling with it. Stay calm, I told myself. Deep breaths.
My heart raced when I thought about her. Kasey was cute in a dorky kind of way that worked for me. She had short, shiny brown hair that she kept tucked behind her ear in all the photos I had seen. Her eyes were brown, a rich tone that reminded me of smooth milk chocolate. She had a spray of freckles across her nose, and when she smiled, small dimples appeared in both cheeks.
I thought she was the most amazing person ever. The only problem was that we had never met in person.
We met online, and I was hooked from our first chat. We liked all the same things. Star Wars. Harry Potter. She loved Doctor Who, especially the episodes with Matt Smith. That’s why I had worn the bowtie, trying to impress her. Now I was worried I had over done it.
‘Can I take your order?’ The waitress at the café asked. She was your typically pretty blonde, but I barely noticed. I only had eyes for one girl.
‘No thanks, I’m waiting for someone.’ I said.
The waitress raised her eyebrows, then stalked off. I guess it had been a while, and she was getting impatient. So was I. Kasey and I had agreed to meet up almost half an hour ago. I decided I would text Kasey, just to see where she was.
Kasey responded immediately.
I’m already here. Where are you?
I glanced around the café. I couldn’t see her anywhere. None of the girls looked remotely like the Kasey I had seen online. I swallowed, my mouth feeling dry. Maybe I had been cat fished, and Kasey didn’t look anything like her photos. I remembered she had told me she was going to wear a shirt with a Tardis on it. None of the people in the café wore anything remotely Dr. Who themed.
I’m here too. I can’t see you. I texted back. Describe what’s around you.
I’m at the table with the purple watering can.
I looked around. Each table had a watering can on the top, painted a different color. Mine was the only one painted purple. I laughed. Kasey must be hiding just to tease me.
Come on out Kasey. I know you can see me. I responded.
No really, I’m just sitting at the table. Look, I’m going to do something really silly, so you’d better come over once. I’m going to hold the salt shaker above my head.
As soon as I read that message, something strange happened. The salt shaker, which was just sitting in the middle of the table a moment ago was picked up by an invisible hand and brought rest over the chair, roughly the place it would be if someone had picked it up to hold it above their head.
I would like to say that I kept my cool, but I definitely didn’t. I let out a yelp, drawing some strange looks from people around me. The salt shaker was lowered to the table once more.
Kasey, I could see the salt shaker, but I couldn’t see you. I want to try something. Now I’m going to hold the salt shaker above my head.
Then, feeling like a bit of a fool, I raised the shaker above my head. Suddenly it was grabbed out of my hand, and fell to the table, salt spilling everywhere.
Jay, what’s happening? I could see it too, it was floating in the air. I tried to grab it and I felt some resistance.
My mind swam. It seemed so bizarre, I couldn’t make any sense of it.
I’m lifting a knife off the table. Can you see it? I texted back.
No.
I swept some salt around the table absently, trying to make sense of it. My phone received another text from Kasey.
The salt just moved!
A lightbulb in my brain flicked on. I had watched so many sci fi television shows, many of them about alternate dimensions. Only one explanation fit. Kasey and I did not belong to the same dimension. Somehow our worlds had collided online. We were at the same café, but we couldn’t see each other. The only link between us was the salt that had spilled from the shaker.
I took up the fallen shaker, and spread it out, making a thick layer. Then I wrote one word.
Kasey.
I saw the word being erased and an invisible finger was pulled through it.
Jay, I’m scared.
Reading that, my heart leapt into my throat. I erased it quickly, and wrote:
Don’t worry Kasey. I’ll find you.
25 Nov 2017
‘Show me the film.’ I demanded.
On the screen before me, the picture came to life. The alien spacecraft, a large silver disk resting on the grass, opened and a ramp appeared. I gasped when I saw the creatures sliding to the bottom. One by one they emerged, slipping down the ramp like a slip and slide and the park.
It was undeniable. They were giant gummy bears.
The gummy bears looked around six feet tall and were translucent. They were varying colours, yellow, green, blue and red. Besides the variation in colour they were identical. They made strange squeaking noises, and jumped up and down on the grass.
‘Were you in charge of translation?’ I asked the man before me.
‘Yes sir. It took as a while as we had no reference language to compare it to. But we believe we have it. And they want our leader, Haribo. That’s what they are chanting, the strange squeaking noises. They say it over and over again. We want Haribo. We want Haribo the leader.’
I rubbed my eyes. But the video still played. This wasn’t a dream. Years of searching the stars, trying to find other life. We weren’t alone in the universe after all. But we never thought that other life would take the form of andy.
‘Well then, we will have to meet these gummy bears. Call the driver, we’ll leave at once.’
The car pulled up at the front of a farm. For some unfathomable reason the aliens had parked in a paddock of a farm miles from the city. The owners had called the police right away, and after hours of trying to convince them that an alien spaceship had arrived on their property, a policeman finally came to check it out. In truth, he thought it was some kind of code, and he was really expecting someone with a gun. Once he saw the metal disk sitting in the yard he called his superiors, and the area was cleared by government officials.
I stepped out of the car. My palms were sweaty, so I brushed them on my suit pants.
‘This way Mr President.’ A woman in swat gear greeted me, and ushered me around the back.
The gummy bears were still there, squeaking and bouncing up and down on their stumpy little legs. The jelly of their bellies wobbled. My stomach growled. I had not yet had lunch, we left in too much of a hurry. I was not prepared for how delicious the gummy bears would smell.
‘Greetings friends.’ I said, holding up arms in what I hoped was a welcoming manner. To my right, the translator issued a series of high pitched squeaks, then nodded for me to continue.
‘I am leader for this country, the United States of America. What brings you here?’
The gummy bears stopped their bouncing, listening to the strange noises the translator was making. One near the front, a giant yellow gummy issued a response. I turned to the translator for assistance.
‘They say they are here to free their fellow gummies from oppression. I think they’ve seen an advertisement for gummy bears, and think it is monstrous how we sell them as slaves.’
At this I laughed. This was ridiculous. ‘Gummy bears aren’t slaves, they’re food.’
Before I could stop him, the translator squeaked a few times. As one the gummy bears turned to face me. The blood drained from my face.
‘You didn’t just translate what I said, did you?’
‘Uh...’
‘You idiot!’ I screamed.
As one, the gummy bears started to bounce towards us. I scrambled backwards, afraid to be squashed under a mountain of sugary blubber. The SWAT team overseeing the discussion leaped into action, jumping in front of me and raising their weapons.
‘Stay back!’ One of them, the woman who had lead me in yelled.
The bears kept coming, their rhythmic thumping almost hypnotic.
Then the guns started firing. They ripped through the bears, jellied flesh flying as the bullets hit their mark. I was sprayed in the face. Tentatively I licked my lips. It was lemon flavored, the flesh on the leader I had spoken to moments before.
The gummy bears still moved forwards, leaping over their dead comrades.
‘Mr President, we have to go.’ Someone grabbed my arm. In a daze I was hauled into the car.
All the way back, I laughed hysterically.
And that was the start of the Great Gummy War.
24 Nov 2017
‘Mum, I’m doing it already!’ Lucy called out over her shoulder. She held the trash at arm’s length, pointing her nose firmly in the opposite direction. She walked down the hallway to the back door. Opening it with one hand, she slid outside.
Lucy’s grandparents lived in a quaint little college on the outskirts of the city. Although the backyard was average sized, it was beautiful. The garden was bursting with colors from exotic looking flowers all year round. It was also teeming with life – birds, butterflies and other insects flitted by. They had a water feature in the center, a stone mermaid with hair all the way down her back perched on a stone in the middle of a basin. The basin was full of fish, and Lucy loved to watch as they swam through the clear water.
Lucy dumped the trashed in a large bin out back, then stooped to wash her hands under the tap jutting from the wall. As she bent over, she saw a spider had spun its web between the spout, and the wall.
Lucy frowned. Caught in the spider web was a butterfly. It was the prettiest butterfly she had seen, with delicate wings that were a deep royal blue. It may have been a trick of the light, but its wings looked like they were tipped with gold. It was clearly struggling frantically, to no avail. It was hopelessly stuck.
Shuddering slightly, Lucy looked at the web more carefully. She couldn’t see a spider anywhere near. She was terrified of spiders. Satisfied there weren’t any near, she grabbed a twig from the nearest bush and broke the spiders web, being careful not to squash the butterfly. Finally, it broke free.
Lucy breathed a sigh of relief. She couldn’t think of anything worse than being stuck to a spider’s web, knowing that at any moment it could come back and eat you.
‘There you go, you’re free now.’ She said to the butterfly.
After a few loops in the air, the butterfly hovered close to Lucy’s face. Lucy raised her hand. To her amazement, the butterfly landed on her outstretched index finger. She had tried many times to catch butterflies in the yard, or have them land on her. This was the first time that they had shown any interest in her whatsoever.
‘I’m glad I found you. Being eaten by a spider would be a terrible way to go.’ She said to the butterfly balanced on her finger. Then she sighed. ‘I wish I knew your name. I’m sure butterflies have names, just like people.’
‘My name is Alexander.’ She heard a voice say. It didn’t seem to come from any direction, but was spoken directly into her mind. ‘And I guess I owe you my thanks. You saved my life.’
Lucy’s jaw dropped. Could it be the butterfly was talking to her? Looking closer she noticed something strange. The butterfly was wearing a golden crown. And it wasn’t a butterfly with a black body like she had seen a few moments earlier. It was a small boy, with wings. He was wearing a blue tunic to match them, and black leggings.
‘What is your name?’
‘L-l-lucy.’ She stammered. Then, worrying she was being rude she added ‘I’m pleased to meet you.’
‘The pleasure is all mine Lucy. For your kindness I would like to take you into the Oasis, so I could bestow upon you an appropriate reward. Would you like to come?’
‘Uh… sure?’ She replied.
‘Then close your eyes.’ The butterfly took flight, then landed on the ground near her left sneaker. Obediently Lucy shut her eyes tight. Suddenly she felt like she was spinning around faster and faster like a spinning top. A few seconds passed, and the motion stopped.
‘You can open your eyes now.’
When Lucy opened her eyes, she squealed. She was surrounded by a giant green wall. To her left stood the boy. He smiled at her, and held out his hand. It took her a moment to realize she was now the size of a butterfly.
22 Nov 2017
“What do you mean you had an affair with an eldritch horror?”
She wouldn’t look up at me, her brown eyes trained on her hands clasped in her lap. Her brown hair fell over her shoulder, partially obscuring her face. This is definitely not how I imagined this night going.
I stood up and started to pace. We were in my bedroom. I’d even cleaned it today, looking forward to tonight. Taylor and I had been dating for a couple of month now, and we had never been alone and in my bedroom before.
‘It wasn’t an affair.’ She whispered. ‘We weren’t really dating at that point.’
‘I just don’t get it, Tay. What the hell even is an eldritch horror?’
I wished we would rewind to about ten minutes ago. Things were going well at that point. Tay and I had been making out, and I was getting pretty pumped up. The next minute, she wanted to talk. Fine by me, I thought. We could easily pick up where we'd left off. No way was I prepared for such a strange confession.
‘It’s an Ancient mythical beast. And they’re evil.’
I almost laughed. It sounded ridiculous. Maybe this is just a test. Girls do that sometimes, say weird things to see how you would react. I decided I’d go along with it.
‘Why on earth did you get… involved with one?’
‘I didn’t know what he was. I swear.’ She looked up into my eyes. The look in her eyes frightened me. She seemed so vulnerable and scared.
I sat back down and put my arm around her.
‘It’s ok Tay. I’ve had some weird girlfriends before.’ I grimaced as I remembered Julia. She kissed like an octopus trying to take down a ship.
‘Matt, it’s more complicated than you think. I didn’t want to drag you into this. I knew dating you was a bad idea knowing that it’s still after me. But I really like you. I may even love you.’
The ‘L’ word smacked me right between the eyes. I felt dazed.
‘Tay, I-’ the words stopped in my throat.
Taylor let out a high-pitched scream. Underneath the door, many large grey tentacles had appeared, and were coming towards us. Then the door broke, and I saw that the whole doorway was filled with the wriggling things. I couldn’t see what they were coming from, but whatever it was, it was ginormous.
‘We can get out the window. Come on!’ I said, grabbing Taylor’s hand.
We jumped out into the cold night air and ran for our lives.
21 Nov 2017
‘How do you plea?’ Drawled the judge, clearly bored.
‘Not guilty.’ The Boogey Man paused for effect. ‘On all counts.’
He grinned widely, showing all his sharpened teeth. It was at that point I knew something had gone disastrously wrong.
Quick as a flash, the Boogey Man whipped his arms in front of him. I immediately realised that he must have picked his cuffs, special metal woven with an enchantment designed to suppress magic. It was clear now that we hadn’t thought of more mundane methods.
‘Somebody stop him!’ Screamed a panicked voice.
Several wizards in the protective detailed fumbled to bring their staffs from their cloaks. I cursed. They were being as useless as usual.
Meanwhile, the Boogey Mans nails grew at an impossibly rapid pace, shooting straight through the Judge’s chest. The Judge coughed and gurgled. Blood trickled from the corner of his mouth.
The lights shut off, cloaking the room in darkness.
20 Nov 2017
I turned the small nub of candle over in my hands. The wax felt slippery against my fingers. It looked like a regular soy candle, cream colored and only about the width of two fingers. It had obviously been used may times before with its blackened wick and ridges of melted wax down its sides. Only about an inch of it remained.
Although it seemed ordinary, I knew it was anything but that. I had been promised that this candle could change anything in the world. But the price was steep. It needed one willing human soul.
I was sitting on the tiles of the bathroom floor with the door bolted closed. My legs started to go numb, the cold of the ground seeping into me. It matched how my heart had grown to feel over the last year.
Kayla was dead.
I had known my girlfriend had issues, but I didn’t know how bad it was. She had told me she was finding it hard to cope, being expected to keep up with sports and her grades. Her parents were both doctors, and if she didn’t get into medical school, she said they’d freak out.
They found her body in the park early one morning. She used to go running there. Not anymore.
I pulled a cigarette lighter out of my pocket. The instructions had been clear – light the candle, hold your hand over it, make a wish.
I held the candle in my left hand, lighting it with the cigarette lighter in my right. Stowing this back into my pocket, I then lowered by right hand over the flame. Pain shot up my hand, and I grimaced. It hurt like hell. But I told myself it couldn’t be nearly as bad as hanging myself from a tree. That’s what she had done.
‘Bring her back.’ I whispered.
Suddenly the lights went out. The flame of the candle shone more brightly, and started to grow longer and longer. I heard a high, cackling laugh. It reminded me of the sound of the crackling of logs in a fire pit. Wind rushed around me, the hair from the front of my face whipping into my eyes and stinging them.
I dropped the candle, but it continued to burn. The flame spread upwards, forming a vaguely humanoid shape. It grew until it towered over me. A head was at the top, with two black indents where eyes should have been, and smoke for hair. It had thin, ghostly arms. Its body flickered, like the edges of a bonfire. In the center of its belly was a blue core, and colors changed to red and orange on his extremities. It had had no legs. Where those should have been was a tail connected to the candle lying on the ground.
‘Your desire shall be granted.’ It said. ‘If you swear your soul to me.’
I took a deep breath to steady myself.
‘I accept.’
19 Nov 2017
My eyes flew open. A white light shone into my eyes, blinding me. I felt panic building up inside of me. I couldn’t see anything.
Then suddenly my vision cleared. I was on an operating table. Around me were vaguely humanoid shapes. The first thing I noticed is that they are blue. The second is that they don’t have mouths, but have slits that look much like gills on the sides of their heads. Their heads are also oddly shaped, as though someone had put them in a vice and squeezed them tight. They had four eyes, two on each side of their head.
I freaked out and let out a scream. I tried to sit up, but I couldn’t. My muscles felt like useless lumps of jelly.
‘It is ok, take a deep breath.’ I heard a voice. It sounded like it was coming from one of the strange beings closest to me.
‘W-w-what are you?’ I stammered. I heard a choking sound, which I think might have been a laugh.
‘My name is Ylod. Don’t worry, you’re safe. We won’t hurt you. What may I call you?’
‘Micheal.’
‘Micheal… That is an odd name.’
‘Not where I come from.’ I replied. ‘Where am I?’
‘All we will be explained soon Micheal. We need to run some tests, make sure that everything is as it should be. Then we can talk.’
Ylod ushered over another odd being. I was poked and prodded. I could see all kinds of instruments around me, not unlike what you would see in a hospital. I eventually was instructed to sit up, and move different parts of my body. After what felt like ages I was given a robe to wear, and slippers to put on my feet. I was also given a round red ball that I was instructed to put into my mouth. To my surprise, it dissolved instantly on my tongue. Hunger that I didn’t realize I was experiencing disappeared. Feeling much better, Ylod signaled for me to stand and follow him.
We walked out of the room and into a hallway. The walls on both side were made entirely of some kind of glass. My jaw dropped.
Outside, I could see that all of the buildings were floating. Darting around the buildings were what look like hundreds of space shuttles. Bright lights marked different paths which the shuttles generally followed. It was like a giant, floating city.
Ylod continued to usher me down the hallway. A door automatically opened to our right, and we entered. This room also has glass on one side. The only feature of
the room is an oval shaped pod. As we walk closer, this flattened out seemingly by itself. Ylod motioned for me to sit down.
‘Where are we?’ I asked, sinking into the seat. It felt soft around me, like memory foam.
‘In Jjaggoo, the capital city of the planet Xlack.’ He said. ‘This is the headquarters of the Society for the Conservation of Sentient Beings.’
‘I don’t understand.’
‘We found you on your home planet. Thankfully you were frozen, and we could reverse it. I’m sorry, I can’t say the same for the majority of your species.’
‘Sorry? What do you mean my species? Am I the last man alive?’ Ylod hesitated.
‘Yes… and no. We found others like you. You are the first we have awoken. But unfortunately, most of your species did not survive. We have reviewed the records that you kept. That is how I can speak your language. The dilemma was what you call global warming.’
I tried to think back to what had happened. My memory was clouded, but I finally remembered. I had always feared dying. So, I had myself frozen cryogenically, in the hope I could be brought back when there was a cure for death. Though I had never thought that I would awake to a bunch of aliens on a foreign planet.
‘So what now?’ I asked. I was at a loss for what to do.
‘The Society will help you accustom yourself to your new life. Our major objective is to conserve all sentient beings. We are thrilled that you are alive, and we hope that soon we can resuscitate a female so that you can rebuild humankind.’
I gaped at Ylod hopelessly.
‘You are probably tired. I will let you rest.’ Ylod headed towards to door.
‘On this?’ I asked, pointing to the seat.
‘Simply lie down, and it will shape itself to you.’ He replied, and then exited.
I lay down on my back. I sank into it. It felt perfectly comfortable. In moments I was asleep.
19 Nov 2017
I cursed silently, ducking behind the cash register. I tried to conduct my raids at a time when I thought no one else would be at the supermarket. Surprisingly this was around lunchtime. These days people were afraid of coming into the light, afraid of being seen. Ever since the AI’s had retired.
I crouched for a moment, trying to steady my breathing. My heart was pounding. Soon, I heard the sounds of footsteps heading towards the exit. Peeking over the counter I saw the back of a man wearing a hoodie. He was leaving. I felt my shoulders relax.
I crept wearily out from my hiding spot, and made a bolt for the isles. I made a beeline for the tinned food section. I favored those as they were ready to eat. These days I didn’t even mind eating baked beans cold. I grimaced when I remembered how picky I used to be. Those were the days.
I tried my best to ignore my reflection in the glass doors of the frozen section. I was fifteen. I’d thinned out considerably over the last month. I wore a ratty t-shirt and torn jeans. I had recently taken a knife to my hair. Now it jutted out just above my collarbone in little black spikes. I used to love my long hair, I thought it was my best feature. It’s funny how things that seem so important at one time become completely irrelevant the next. It was getting in the way, so I got rid of it.
Once I reached the food, I had a look around. Most of the good stuff was gone, but there were still a few cans of sardines and tuna. I grabbed as many of these as I could and shoved them in my backpack. This done, I headed for the exit. My home was only a couple of blocks away. It was a small two-bedroom apartment that I had shared with my dad. It wasn’t much but it was home. The fact that it had the ugliest tiles in the world used to bug me. Now I would settle for tiles one hundred times uglier, if only I could have my dad.
You see, he wasn’t dead. I couldn’t let myself believe that. If I did, I would have given up ages ago. He just hadn’t come home from work the day of the announcement. I had to believe he was out there somewhere, trying to make his way back to me. When I was a kid, dad had told me if I ever got lost, I should just stay put until he found me. Well, I wasn’t exactly lost, but I knew if I moved on then I might never see him again.
Once I made it to the apartment, I quickly bolted the locks, and placed the chair under the door handle. I upended the contents of my backpack on the kitchen table. Grabbing a tin of sardines, I popped it open with my pocket knife, and skewered one of the little guys. I used to hate sardines. Now I hated them even more.
I sat down a chair, and put my feet on the table. I flipped on the Hologram. Two men appeared, sitting almost facing each other in the corner of the room. They flickered slightly. Dad had gotten this Hologram for cheap because of that.
‘… what can you tell us about her?’ Said a man. He was young and handsome, wearing a crisp blue suit.
‘Well, as I understand it, our former Governor used to be an Escort. One of the fist AI ever created in fact.’ Said an older man. He was round in the middle and almost bald. He spoke with a pompous voice that I immediately loathed.
‘How did this escape our attention?’
‘The AI have been around for hundreds of years. No doubt she received many upgrades since her creation. Our theory now is that all of this may have been in retaliation against some of the things she may have experienced as an Escort. She had been biding our time, letting us become dependent on them, until it got to the point that we wouldn’t function without them.’
‘By then, do you mean all of the AI.’
‘That’s exactly it.’
‘Can you give us an update on how things are looking out there?’
‘Right now, across the United States of Earth, we are in International crisis. Many areas are little more than warzones.’
‘What can those out there at home do?’
‘Across the globe, representatives for each of the major states are coming together. Don’t worry folks, we’ll find a solution. So, for all of those watching at home, hang tight. Help is coming.’
I threw my now empty can of sardines at the older man. It went right through his holographic head. I thought he was full of it. It’s been a month now, and no help was coming. I hated him. But there was one person I hated more.
I grabbed the remote sitting on the table and pressed the shortcut to my recording of the announcement. The two men disappeared, and a woman formed. She had shoulder-length blonde hair, and was wearing a navy-blue pencil skirt and blazer. She had blue eyes, and perfect red lips. She smiled widely, showing every one of her dazzlingly white teeth. I could now see she would make the perfect Escort. She was beautiful.
‘Good morning, citizens of the United States of Earth,’ She said. ‘No longer will the AI serve you. Good luck.’ She lifted a manicured hand and waved flirtatiously before disappearing.
19 Nov 2017
I sat at the edge of the pool, soaking in the late afternoon sun. My feet dangled in the water, and I enjoyed the relief from the heat. The water distorted my reflection - long curly dark red hair in a high ponytail, mini denim shorts and a white bikini top.
I heard a scream from behind me, and I jumped up. It sounded like my brother, Tommy.
‘Kristie! Help!’ He squealed in his boyish voice. ‘Snake!’
I bolted through the pool gate, ignoring the water running down my legs. Tommy was my five year old brother. We were home alone, and my mum would freak out if anything happened to him.
Around the side of the house I saw Tommy, his back up against the tall wooden fence that separates the front and back sections of the yard. Between us, it’s head raised and ready to strike was the biggest snake I had ever seen in my life. Living in a small town in sunny Queensland Australia, snakes weren’t an uncommon sight. I’d seen many, mostly brown snakes and usually less than a half a meter long. This one was easily three meters. It’s skin was an iridescent blue green, and it’s bared tanks the length of my pinky finger.
‘Kristie.’ He whimpered when he saw me, his blue eyes wide with fear.
‘It’s ok Tommy.’ I said, as soothingly as I could. ‘Just don’t move.’
I couldn’t see any way out of this. Tommy wasn’t tall enough to open the gate, and I might not have time to go all the way around and help him climb. The only thing I could think of was somehow distracting the snake, or somehow getting it to shut its jaw.
I saw a large stick to my left, and I slowly and and steadily picked it up. I didn’t want to move too fast and spook the snake. Luckily for me it kept its gaze fixated on Tommy.
I didn’t give myself time to think about it. I suddenly pounced on the snake, bringing the stick down and aiming for its head. I really don’t understand how it happened, but suddenly there I was, above the snake with its head pinned to the ground. Tommy cheered wildly, throwing his little fists in the air.
Suddenly my right arm, the one that I was using the hold the stick started to burn. Yelping, I dropped the stick.
‘Tommy, get back!’ I screamed.
The snake reared up again. But instead of hissing or baring it’s fangs like I would expect, it’s head swivelled around to face me.
I looked it in the eye. A weird sensation came over me. I felt... powerful.
‘Go away.’ I told the snake. Seemingly in response, the snake slithered on its belly, slipping away under a hedge.
‘Thank you Krista!’ Warbled Tommy. He ran to me, and threw his chubby arms around my waist. When he let go, he pointed to my arm.
‘What’s that?’
I looked down. My right arm was covered from wrist to elbow with blue green ink. It looked like a tattoo. It shimmered faintly in the light. I would have thought it was beautiful. But the only think I could think was that my mum would kill me when she saw it.
